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I chanced upon a guy on the internet days before.i nearly forgot how come that we chatted in voice then,but anyhow,we did.judging from his talking style,i thought he is a outward man,and also an English fan like me.its the first time i chat with a total stranger so happiy,without thinking too much,cant help to speak out in the first place,just like,like buddies havent seen each other for a long time!
Afterwards ,everytime i saw him online ,id like to chat with him ,without thinking too much,treated him as my\"brother\".but unfortunately,the more i chat with him,the more indifferent he become.day after day,he threw me just in serval cold words,or eve brushed me aside,leaving my \"interference\"undone...
That made me feel down,my heart sink.i tried to calm down and thought why i prefer to interfere him continously.Am i crazy?believe it or not,it hurted my dignity.
However,one day he made a joke in the englihs-group that i am his GF!!it aroused my \"appitite\",even though i knew that he was just kidding.Thank God!i am a open-mind person after all and i wont be silly enough to take a joke as a truth.\"Let it be\"i told myself with a hard smile...
Passer-by only,i think.failing to make my exsitence realized,i determind to give up ,thinking that 'maybe there is no friend or brother or even intimate on line at all!maybe i should not ,never treat the penpals on line truly any more.yeah,i must admit that i did lose heart.
But,before leaving ,one thing was always overwhelmed my mind.so i wanted to tell him about this and vanish soon ,without regret.
I am a girl brave enough to express my like and dislike ,love and hate.so i struggling to confess towards him,jsut to let him know.you now so many people go pass arround everyday,but its really rare to meet someone you are fond of.so i picked up all my courage and confess to him...
After that,i flushed in my face and typed endlessly that i wanna give up and try to forget him.even though he tole me that he like me also.hehe,just want cheer me up,i think.come on!dont worry,dont show your sympathy to me.i am ok upuntil now .i will nip it in te bud before bing hurt too heavily.
Ok,swim or sink,i have finished my confession finally.thank Godness again!i am still alive .but why,at the very point of leaving ,i felt at sea,like losing something even though i havent got it anytime and anywhere....
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