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笔者出于职业兴趣，最近浏览了一些国家重点大学校园网中的英语简介部分，发现不少大学的英语网页中存在大量的中式英语问题，严重影响了学校形象。其中湖南大学的英文简介更是称得上“惨不忍‘读’”。你很难从中找到一个完全正确的句子，而且其中绝大部分错误都是最基本的英语语法问题。这里仅以湖南大学英语简介（General Information）中的第一段和第二段为例说明问题的严重性，希望引起湖南大学相关领导的注意，尽快请人重新翻译。
在这短短的两段中，除了第二段最后一句差强人意外，其余句子都存在这样那样的问题。
1. Hunan University is a key national university, whose history can trace back more than one thousand years to the Yuelu Academy.
问题：这句的短语trace back用法不恰当。建议全句改为：Hunan University is a national key university, whose history can be traced back to Yuelu Academy established one thousand years ago.
2. It’s situated on the foot of the Yuelu Mountain, subjected to the lead ship of Education Ministry, and is checked and accepted by “National 211 project” of “The Ninth Five Year Plan”, and also the key high school of learning of the Education Ministry and Hunan Province.
问题1：lead ship拼写错误，应改为leadership，该词一般与under搭配使用，构成短语under the leadership of；
问题2：high school是“中学”。湖南大学怎么会是a high school of learning。顺便一提的是，“高等教育”的英文表达是higher education，而不是high education。
问题3：“九五规划”的英文表达是the Ninth Five-year Plan，而不是 the Ninth Five Year Plan。
问题4：这句话存在重复累赘现象，两次提到湖南大学是教育部直属高校，完全没有必要。
问题5：is checked and accepted by “National 211 project” of “The Ninth Five Year Plan”不符合英语表达习惯。
问题6：从意思上来说，这不是一个很好的英语句子。由于全句是由三个句子构成的并列句，语意重心不突出。
3. Hunan University traces its history to one of the four famous Academies: Yuelu Academy, founded in AD 976 in Song Dynasty.
问题1：AD 976不符合英语表达习惯。在英语中，AD应置于年份后面，而不是前面。
问题2：这句话与简介的第一句话显然重复。
4. In 1903 the system of the Yuelu Academy was changed and renamed Hunan High Learning.
问题1：这句话的主谓逻辑有问题。
问题2：“高等学堂”的英文翻译不是high learning。
5. And in 1926 the school has named Hunan University.
问题：这句话应用被动语态，即And in 1926 the school was named Hunan University.
6. In 1936 it became one of the national university of the Education Ministry of the National Government.
问题1：university应改为复数形式universities。
问题2：把“国民政府”翻译成the National Government不准确。
7. As for its education tradition of more than one thousand years the university is also called High Learning of Thousand Years.
问题1：as for不表示“原因”，应去掉as。
问题2：把“千年学府”翻译成High Learning of Thousand Years不准确，且与前半部分重复。根据英文习惯，这句话不宜逐字死译，可以变通为As an institution for higher education, the University has a history of about 1000 years.
8. During the years of South Song Dynasty when Confucius scholar Zhangshi was chairing the Academy, here formed the “Huxang School” famous in the Chinese history of Academics leaving behind a “patriotic” and “pragmatic” tradition.
问题1：“理学家”一般译为rationalistic Confucian philosopher。
问题2：“南宋”应译为the Southern Song Dynasty。由于读者是外国人，对于南宋到底指哪段时期不清楚，应增添相关信心。建议把前半部分改为During the Southern Song Dynasty(1127—1279) when Zhangshi, rationalistic Confucian philosopher, acted as the chair of the Academy。
问题3：主句存在语法错误，根据中文版，建议译为the “Huxiang School” developed here, well known for its legacy of patriotism and pragmatics.
9. From Yuelu Academy to Hunan University, its graduates made great contribution to the country and nation: Wang Fuzi, an excellent materialist thinker; Wei Yuan, the first man who appealed to learn from the west, a reformative enlightener; Zeng Goufang, the first to set up modern factories in China, Zuo Zongtang, the first to set up a navy in China, and defended and explored Xinjinang; Gou Gaosou, the first ambassador of China going abroad; Chai Er, leader of democratic revolution; Chai Hesheng, Deng Zhongxia, and Xie Jianzai, proletarian revolutionists; Zhang Fenjian, the first Chinese who get to Antarctica; and Ci Yuangui, designer of the Yinhe super-computer.
问题1：在Zeng Goufang, the first to set up modern factories in China和Zuo Zongtang, the first to set up a navy in China, and defended and explored Xinjinang之间应使用分号，而不是逗号。根据英语平行结构的特点，应把and defended and explored Xinjiang 改为who defended and explored Xinjiang。
问题2：应把Zhang Fenjian, the first Chinese who get to Antarctica部分的定语从句从一般现在时改为一般过去时。即使译者想强调现在，按照英语主谓数一致的规则，谓语动词也应加-s。
10. Mao Zetung, the founder of PRC, lived several times in Yuelu Academy, with several other patriots, dispute for the making of new nation.
问题1：该句存在语法错误，dispute for the making of new nation在句中充当什么成分？
问题2：把“探索救国救民的真理”翻译成dispute for the making of new nation显然理解错误、用词不当。
11. When the PRC is founded, the famous philosopher and educator Li Da was appointed president of Hunan University, and Chairman Mao inscribed the name of Hunan University for him.
问题1：时态呼应问题。从句为一般现在时，主句却用一般过去时，前后不一致。按照句子意思，应把时间状语从句改为一般过去时，即When the PRC was founded。
问题2：毛主席题写校名显然不是为了李达一人，因此后半部分的for him完全是画蛇添足。
12. In 1953 during the days when adjustments for majors and departments for further development, the university was named Zhongnan College of Civil Engineering and Hunan Engineering College, and in 1959 it regained the name Hunan University.
问题：从句when adjustments for majors and departments for further development存在语法错误。
13. Since 1963 the university has been subjected to the management of National Mechanical Ministry, and in1998 it was adjusted to subjected directly to Educational Ministry.
问题1：该句前半部分使用现在完成时，按照英语时态特点，应理解为“自从1963年以来到现在，湖南大学一直隶属国家机械工业部”，但后半句又说“1998年调整为教育部管辖”，显然自相矛盾。
问题2：it was adjusted to subjected directly to Educational Ministry存在语法错误。 |
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发表于 2005-9-28 10:41:19
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